Dad, as I kept a lonely vigil beside your hospital bed
Stroking your soft white hair, caressing your fatigued face
Holding your wrinkled hands, never wanting to let you go
I could hear your pale lips murmuring my name softly
My heart bled to see your body so weak and frail
Tears rolling down as I watched you slowly fading away
And memories of us together just came rushing back
When I was just a boisterous little girl of five or six
You took me to ride on the carousel at Jubilee Park
And you cheered me on as I got onto the giant wheel
We went for white man movies together all over town
I ate peanuts on your laps in front of Rex Cinema
Rain or shine you took me to school on your old bicycle
You taught me how to read, write, draw and color
At times you and Mom ate little so that I can eat more
You toiled from day till night without a whimper
Your feet swollen from many hours of standing
Your hands numbed from working without a rest
And back ached from bending over the work table
It was like this all the years until I grew up
By then it put a severe toll on your health
When I finally blossomed into a pretty young lady
We fought over my choices of boyfriends and suitors
Even the best in my eyes is not good enough for you
They were given the boot and shown the door
At last you gave your blessing but very reluctantly
However your heart melted when you held my babies
I saw you embracing them so tenderly, so lovingly
Every morning I brew your favorite thick Chinese tea
I loved the smell of your cheroot and green color hair gel
I watched you put on your white hat and dark glasses
Humming softly your favorite tunes in the bathroom
But roaring in a thunderous voice whenever you speaks
You are a very strict disciplinarian with a heart of gold
Many people feared and avoided you but I knew better
Our endless trips to the hospital together all the years
I am exhausted from arguing with the doctors and nurses
Whether I should let you know about the prostate cancer
They said nothing can be done to stop the metastasis
That you are actually just buying time in this world
I really wanted to spare you from the painful truth
In the end I chose not to tell you, please do forgive me
When Mom suddenly left us without a word years ago
We comforted each other in those sad and lonely days
You only trusted me, and no one else, to take care of you
It is a privilege I valued and cherished very much
On this Father’s Day, I wanted to let you know again
That I am very grateful and proud to be your daughter
I loved you with all my heart and I still missed you badly
Note: Dad in his vintage dark glasses. Can you spot his white cowboy hat? He was flanked by my two kids whom he adored. Later, Dad passed on from pneumonia when the cancer metastasized to his lung. He was 87.
Happy Father’s Day to all the guys who played a part in bringing us into the world, then slogged to bring us up and finally released us to spread our wings!